(: I know, I kinda have been against the country lately….

But this, you just have to watch…

I’ll get the lyrics posted soon, and like, try to explain to those of you who don’t know the culture of the country. (:

//Edit:
Here we go, the lyrics and some explanations along the way!

Sang Nila Utama (believed to be an Indonesian/Burmese -my history sucks- prince who discovered Singapore)
saw a lion, alamak
name the village Singapura
then run very far
(Basically, sang nila utama, before arriving onto then ‘Temasek’, he had to throw off his crown - i suppose that signified as he had to ensure he didn’t throw his authority around the cute little island of Temasek. Temasek was what Singapore was called before it was named as Singapura. Singa-Lion, Pura-Island. Literally, Lion Island.)

years later, ang mor came
stamford raffles was his name
post for statues very nice
we kenna colonize
(ANG MOR literally means, Red Hair in a dialect of Chinese when translated. It pointed towards caucasians. As you can very well see, we still call caucasians the ang morhs. Neil Humphrey probably is too immune to this already. Anyway, Stamford Raffles was the founder of modern Singapore. He’s got like 2-3 statues around Singapore… Raffles Quay, oh I don’t know I don’t really bother where his statues are situated at. Tourists can go figure it out on their own. But anyway, kennareally literally means ‘have been’. I can’t remember what language that was translated from. Probably malay. Raffles coined Singapura into Singapore. To make it sound more English-like.)

Singapura very strong
Big guns all, pointing wrong
Japanese, came on bikes
invade us from our backside
(In history, soon after colonization of the Britons over Singapore, the nation pretty much became really strong, what with the sea port trade becoming a huge hit-wonder with the shipping industry. WWII came, and we set up forts. Forts all pointing towards the sea. They forgot that besides the front door, there was a HUGE back door coming in from Malaysia. That ought to explain why we got invaded from our backside. heh.)

war is over, ang mor back
Singaporeans no respect
Commies come, make a fuss
Singapore Independence!
(So during the war, Japanese took over… Brits gave up… but not for long. They forced that jap general to give up on the land of the rising sun, and so our dear Brits came back. But since they fought like pansies and with the lack of troops, Singaporeans back then weren’t the least bit happy with the Brits. I forgot the part on the commies. I believe it was the whole council and committee meetings and such.. we finally got like some sort of independence from the colonization… They no longer ruled over Singapore.)

I live in Singapura
It’s not perfect living
but at least it’s interesting
I live in Singapura
Though it’s kind of crazy
We win other country
(The chorus is entirely true. Complete with the entirely broken English. We all speak like that.)

David Marshall, Lim Yew Hock
National Anthem starts to rock
Yusof Ishak the big man
Guess who’s PM?
(David Marshall, Lim Yew Hock… most interesting and high-lighted politicians during our first rally and elections in ‘65 or something like that. Some malay uncle wrote the national anthem (? or was that anthmn?) and everyone got patriotic, so it started to rock… Yusof Ishak, first President of the State. He was delegated the post as he was of the native race. PM = Prime Minister. PM was Lee Kuan Yew.)

Malaysia say, come join me
Two of us be same country
Then not happy
Then make PM cry
(Malaysia proposed that we joined their country. Probably government propaganda, but whenever I get reminded of this, I some how think that Malaysia once tried to colonize us over with crazy policies. So of course, during the one year we were of the same country, a lot riots happened, caused a lot of havoc, everyone isn’t happy. Soon, “Medeka!” or “Freedom!” when translated from Malay was heard everywhere. It was coined by PM Lee. PM Lee wasn’t the least bit happy when the two nations split. He cried on TV.)

PM Lee lead country
Build Jurong and HDB
Make the country clean and green
Opposition cannot win
(So, PM Lee led the country from scratch again. He built up the production industry and the HDB. HDB = Housing Development Board. They did TONNES of relocations for everyone since everyone were still stuck in villages and squat houses. They used to call the villages, ‘kampongs’. Sanitation was a horror back then. So, clean and green we went. I still remember the cute green frog. It took us some 10 or 20 years to clear out the Singapore river and make it what it is today. Opposition seriously couldn’t win over the people back then.)

JB Jeya no more funds
Chee Soon Juan won’t eat his buns
Lim How Doong, what a goon!
“Don’t talk cock” in parliament!
(I didn’t really keep up with politics, so no idea what this verse is about.)

I live in Singapura
It’s not perfect living
but at least it’s interesting
I live in Singapura
Though it’s kind of crazy
We win other country

Kick out from Malaysia cup
Michael Faye: Pain in the butt
S-League, Tea Dancing
Ah bengs love Modern talking
(We weren’t part of Malaysia anymore. So of course, we got kicked out. d’uh. Malaysia cup’s a soccer league, btw. Michael Faye was one serious pain in the butt. He thought he was some ang morwho could come vandalising all over the pristinely perfect walls of Singapore. Well, sorry kid. Off to jail you go. I think he was sentenced to some 8 or 9 years. I can’t ever remember because we don’t talk about him much. Kudos to him, vandalisation was placed as HUGE no-no for anyone. We came up with the S-League! Short for Singapore League. It’s still on. They suck though. I don’t keep up with soccer. so. Tea Dancing? Um. I’m lost. Ah bengs love modern talking?! okay, maybe he was referring to the new age artsy fartsy ah beng.) 

McDonald’s Hello Kitty
Everyone drink Bubble Tea
Crushing cockroach Margaret Chan
James Lye is The VR Man
(We had a MAJOR McD’s craze back in ‘96. Hello Kitty collectibles. You could queue overnight for 3 days, 2 nights just for a limited edition Hello Kitty + Dear Daniel couple set. It was overwhelming stupid and crazy. I didn’t even bother with this one. Why bother?! Everyone loves bubble tea. I had my first cup in Hongkong. Which was why when it came over to Singapore, I went crazy over that too. Margaret Chan was famous for her role in this show. I can’t ever remember the title, but all I remember is that she acted as the domineering evil mother who yields her tongkataka walking stick and whenever she got angry, she’d look at the camera, directly into your eyes, grits her teeth in anger and go “I’ll crrrrrush him like a cockroach!!!” and uses her walking stick and the floor as a demonstration. Every episode, she’d say that line like at least 3 times? James Lye was Singapore’s hottie back in ‘93. I remember, because I thought he was hott too. Ends up, he’s Michelle Lye’s cousin. But that aside, James Lye was like THE VR Man. VR meaning Virtual Reality. Something like, Masked Rider, only cooler villians. He went on to become Singapore’s hottest policeman on screen. Then we have no idea what he’s doing now, now that he’s happily married to Wong Liling.)

Reclaimation, Tuas Causeway
Malaysian water buay ho sei
Mahathir’s Friend: Datuk Anwar
Mahathir says he’s Chow Ah Quah
(We underwent major surgery on our landscapes, we gained weight. Meaning, Land Reclaimation. SERIOUS reclaimation. We built another causeway to ease traffic between M’sia and S’pore. We bought water from Malaysia since we don’t have natural water sources. Buay ho sei - Not good at all. The deal’s probably gonna be off, we’re getting water from Indonesia soon. Mahathir, you all know him. He hates Anwar. You know him too. Mahathir says Anwar’s a frigging gay. Chow Ah Quah = Sissy boy.)

NDP: Aunties rush
Everyone it’s fun to flush
Bubble gums are all banned
Ask your friends buy back from Thailand!
(NDP= National Day Parade. we have the best NDP’s around the world. Nothing beats our 4-hour patriotic fest. We train for 8 months nearly everyday, to pull off a perfect, and I really mean, PERFECT 4 hour parade. Aunties rush. Aunties = housewives. and housewives LOVE freebies. NDP is all about freebies. We get taught, “Flush the damn toilets”. Hygiene etiquette. Ew, I know. Bubble gums, yes. We’re like the only country who fines people for not disposing chewing gums and bubble gums properly. Yes, we do get friends to buy back bubblegum from thailand. Mostly, I go over to Johor to get my stock.)

I live in Singapura
It’s not perfect living
but at least it’s interesting
I live in Singapura
Though it’s kind of crazy
We win other country

Driving car, not funny
Bid for cars with COE
ERP, Road tax
PARF until I want to barf
(Cars in Singapore are stupid. They’re way overpriced. It’s no laughing matter. COE = Certificate of Entitlement. Yes, we bid for cars using those certs. ERP - electronic road pricing. Right now, from my place in Hougang, which is pretty far from town… well, to get from here to town, ERP would be at least $10 a trip. How’s that?! Road tax is crazy. Don’t let me get started about parking fees in town. It’s like $7/hf. I don’t even get paid THAT much when I work. wtf. I don’t know what PARF means. I’ll ask Dad and get back to you.)

IR locals have to pay
Foreign Talents are okay
Housing estates upgrade by contractors that go pok kai
(IR - integrated resorts, right? but yes, we’ll have to pay the moment those IRs get set up. Like, $3 a visit into vivo city. STOOOOOPID! Singapore loves Foreign Talents. not. I hate them. But since gahmen likes them, what the heck. I shall be nice and like them too. pok kai meaning bankrupt. corrupt. too many of those around.)

IMF come must smile more
Want to protest go indoor
LRT not so fast
NEWater they laugh at us
(Like, omg. 4 million smiles. my foot. No one in Singapore smiles. It’s just weird to smile at each other. I mean, it gets CREEEEPY after you smile too much. I did that while I was volunteering as an usher for this year’s NDP. And like, my cheeks just froze and got stuck. I smiled the entire night through till after midnight and it was still frozen in that stupid fake smile. like. GAH! and yah, during IMF, no such thing called Protest. Want to protest, go to the Indoor Stadium please, kthnxbye. wtf. LRT= Light Rail transport. SO not fast. It freezes and malfunctions in the middle of nowhere sometimes, makes you freak out like mad for over 30 minutes before they tell you over the intercom, “It’s okay. Just a small technical glitch. You’ll be out of there sooner than you know.” Right, I was stuck in an LRT once for 1 hour. In the middle of nowhere and it was blistering hot. NEWater is the new technology Singapore owned on large scale back a few years ago. Reverse Osmosis water using… right. this is embarassing. Using waste waters. Like, we’re drinking recycled water. I don’t even want to know where it came from. Many of us thinks most likely, Shit water. but who knows?!)

I live in Singapura
It’s not perfect living
but at least it’s interesting
I live in Singapura
Though it’s kind of crazy
We win other country

Baby bonus, maid levy
Singtel Shares give out for free
Jack Neo, Kit Chan
Sexy Pastor Ho Yeow Sun
(Third Baby, and we’ll pay you $3k. Maid levies, you know… I don’t have a maid. So i don’t know. Singtel Shares are rich people. (: Free money is always good money. Jack Neo - comedian/actor/director/producer/singer. he’s well-rounded, owns his own movie firm. Kit Chan - pop sensation. very famous. but i don’t know for what. -besides singing, that is- We have a sexy pastor. Yes, she’s very very sexy indeed. Her name is Ho Yeow Sun. But I’ve never seen her before irl, so don’t ask me how sexy.)

Beckham parties with models
Has affair but no one knows
S-league, go world cup
Can come true if they don’t suck
(OH! OH! WE ALL KNOW THIS ONE! Beckham was naughty when he came over to Singapore. ;) S-league wants to make it to the world cup by 2010. Fat hope on this one I think.)

Mahathir then Abdullah
Bar top dancing at the bars
Budget airlines start to PAK!
Stop speaking Singlish lah!
(Bar top dancing was finally permitted just two or three years ago. I still think it’s indecent and gross. Because some fat girls dance and it’s just gross. PAK!!! that means soar. go up. or sometimes, go up in flames. some budget airlines didn’t really work out. But we have an airport entirely dedicated for budget airlines. Cheap things go to other places. you know… Oh, this one. Singlish. the weird language that I’ve been TRYING to explain to you right now, is called Singlish. The Singaporean’s English. It’s terrible.)

Gay is okay say PM
SM Lee go be MM
PM Lee the same name
Here we go all over again
(PM… I think it was PM Goh who said that… SM Lee.. no no.. not the kinky meaning of SM. SM = Senior Minister. WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!?! gawd. save the fella already. Anyway, SM Lee became MM Lee. MM = Minister Mentor. To mentor both current SM and MM. not that the current SM needs mentoring. The current PM is MM Lee’s son. Figures, right? It’s a family thing. But I think the new PM is great. He’s brilliant. So, family thing or not, I still think if he managed to become PM, he’s probably the best we can get.)

I live in Singapura
It’s not perfect living
but at least it’s interesting
I live in Singapura
Though it’s kind of crazy
We win other country

We live in Singapura
It’s not perfect living
but at least it’s interesting
We live in Singapura
Though it’s kind of crazy
We win other country
We live in Singapura!!

So, hope you enjoyed that somewhat. I might or might not have the best interpretations, or like, the best memory when it comes to history (i just hate memorising things), but this is the best you can get out of me at 3.20am… cheers, mates!
END EDIT//

It’s hilarious. Hossan Leong, btw, is a famous on&off-screen actor/performer. Obvious to his stage performance here, he’s a comedian in Singapore. Very well-respected one too. Although he acts really gay sometimes, but that’s his screen persona. I’m pretty sure he’s very different when he’s not supposed to be performing.

Surely, if you’re Singaporean, or if you’ve stayed here for at least a year and a half working and being surrounded by the locals, have been watching the usual tv serials and dramas, keeping up with the news and been memorising Singapore’s history (that’s just Social Studies for those of you in secondary schools), then you’d understand the full meaning of the song.

Anyway, spent my day deciding if I ought to go out to city hall to find Serica. Ended up going… which was cool, I guess. Because my Uncle Ricky just got home from Hokkaido last night. (:

Melon-flavoured KitKats.

Cheers to my dear uncle ricky. I have my much awaited kitkats. A pack goes to my best friend, Serica. And another pack goes to my buddy, Jasrie, who’s now in Aussie. Dude, in exchange of these kitkats, I want those OTHER kitkats. you know, you know.. ;) the 4 you have in WA right now.

The other 2 packs, I shall SLOWLY enjoy with my brothers and mother.

Right-o.

He gave me like this huge portion of an equally huge rock melon he bought from Hokkaido. Like, omg. It’s the bestthing I’ve ever tasted. There’s this corn too. He said I could just eat it raw. I was like, “What?! You’re serious, right?” sheesh.

Oh a whole box of cheese cakes and banana cakes from Tokyo. And yes, those glorious chocolate-biscuits. They’re actually called Shiroi Koibito… that’s the brand’s name. the stuff they do are biscuit-coated chocolates. I shit and kid you not.

Two types of biscuit-coated chocolates: Le Blanc Chocolat et Langues De Chat
Basically, it meant The White Chocolate and literally, language of the cat, but I supposed they were trying to mean dark chocolate. But what the heck, those biscuits are good, so yeah.

Oh, he bought sample packets of potato chips from the potato farm from Hokkaido too.. glorious, I tell you. SO utterly delicious. When I get my digicam to work again, I’ll take some pictures and show you every little detail. ;)

But for now, just be satisfied with looking at kitkat box. and Hossan Leong. Mwahahhahaha!

Alright, alright. I’m outta here.